Friday, October 12, 2007
'Good things you have done will never be lost, your kind act takes root and every bit of love you show will come right back to you for God knows you have a good heart'
This was the first few words where our relationship started.
But to what extent has it now lasts to? Texting me 3.02 am in the morning, on the eve of Hari Raya.
' I think we have to cool off for a while and get our minds cleared before we ever get back on track'
I have not slept since and you have been on my mind since. Coming to school on such a low note on the eve of the most exciting day of the year on the Islam's calender. I almost broke down.Breaking into what i almost couldn't imagine what i could be.
And there,my friends and classmates looked at me,Me who seems so ever distraught and 'emo'.The care and concern that they gave me,i thank you all for your support.
It seems so much of a contradiction to what you pretty much said to me. Read between the lines and i could tell so much of your feelings towards me. Trust in what has said to be the most important thing to have a successful relationship didnt seem to be present in our relationship.Instead,you have trusted that bastard Sazali whom is out to see our relationship fall apart.Why must you do this to me at this point of time?I thought my life was beginning to pick up from the recent misadventures of life.Tomorrow is the festive day.What i had thought to that perhaps i may enjoy tomorrow seems to dissipate into thin air.Thin air that i am not able to breathe.You were my oxygen,my life,my everything.
An bigger asshole Sazali is.He better not look back on what he did because he knows that my friends are already going to look up for him. You got the wrong guy to mess with man.Prepare yourself by packing up man cause you know you will eventually end up in the hospital you son of a bitch. Don't you dare look back.Don't you dare.
But having said all these,am i man enought to put the blame on Sazali?I was not there when she failed her exams.Who was there when she needed someone?Sazali was. Who was there when her she fought with her mum? Sazali was. Who was there when i fought with her? Yet again, Sazali was. Where was I? Too busy out pubbing and partying?Thinking that getting drunk almost every week was cool.COOL MY ASS.I find it all bullshit now upon reflecting.It seems all clear to me that i am not man enough to put the blame everything on Sazali.
I should reflect upon myself on what i should have and have not done.Maybe i am not the kind of guy whom i used to be.I'm still picking up the pieces of my broken life.There are just so many confessions which i wish i could say but no.Let my life try to continue its path.Maybe God has its reasons on why he gave me the second chance to live again .This is reality.
Watching it all fall apart.
